FlatRats 2005

We FlatChatters love living in apartments – so much so that we even put up with the cheats, chisellers, hedonists, misanthropes, selfish scumbags and assorted lying rodents who’ve attached themselves to our 21st Century way of life.

So, in this, the last FlatChat of the year, in (dis)honour of the bad guys, here are FlatChat’s awards for the worst of the worst – The FlatRats 2005.

The “I’m Alright Jack” FlatRat goes to the professional gent who, when told he couldn’t build a cage round his parking spot in a prestigious inner city building, went ahead and did so anyway. When the poor soul who parks next to it protested that she could no longer open her car door, her brand new Merc was mysteriously and seriously “keyed”.

The “User Pays … and Pays … and Pays” FlatRat goes to the developer who retained ownership of the foyer of a new building then leased it back to the owners so they could get access to their apartments. It’s like buying a new car but finding out you have to rent the keys if you want to drive it.

The Financial Freeforall FlatRat goes to the organisation currently telling developers that not selling building management contracts (to its members) was like ripping up money. Listen up! The management rights belong to the OWNERS, not the developers, so hands off.

The “Hear No Evil” FlatRat goes to members of both our main political parties who get most of their funding from property developers. Come on, folks, get your noses out of the trough. Your constituents are being ripped off and if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

The “No Place Like Home” FlatRat goes to all the short-term rental greed-monkeys who are turning apartments into hotel rooms and backpacker hostels – to the detriment of their neighbours who just want a normal home life. This award is shared with all the council officials who do nothing and building managers on the take, without whom this ruinous rort could not exist.

Finally, the “Just Obeying Orders” FlatRat goes to the two separate senior managers from major developers who recently told FlatChat’s spies that if they were in any other business, what they do in building management would be criminal. Have a conscience-free Christmas.

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