Missing out on a home – GOMO grief is real


You’ve heard of FOMO – fear of missing out – driving people to often irrational decisions.

But there’s another side to that, such as when you’ve just lost your dream home to a wealthier bidder at auction, or another, apparently more attractive prospective tenant at a rental.

Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed by something that feels a lot like grief, writes Sue Williams in Domain, where she has has dubbed it GOMO – grief over missing out.

Psychotherapist Brandon Srot recognises the syndrome: “It’s really important to acknowledge the grief that comes from the loss of that home you’d been hoping to buy and imagining yourself in,” he said.

“That’s very real and you shouldn’t dismiss it as a first-world problem or inconsequential.

“There are multiple strands of loss here. There’s the actual missing out on the home, but there’s also the crushing of your anticipation of your hopes and dreams being fulfilled by the purchase.

“To some people, a home is not just a place to live. It’s about security, stability, family, community and belonging. So that loss can be very traumatic.”

In today’s housing market, GOMO – Grief Over Missing Out – is afflicting many people. At a time when prices are rising so fast and so high, finance is tightening and demand dwarfs available supply, it’s inevitable that many will be disappointed.

A key factor, however, in developing the kind of resilience you need to push on, is acknowledging the sense of loss you feel each time, advises Mr Srot. That can be as simple as admitting to yourself how upset you are, or confiding in a friend, partner or family member what you’re going through.

“There’s no shame in the fact you mightn’t have had that extra $500,000,” he said. “But silence is the fuel of shame. So, it’s important to talk about it, to break down any feelings of shame or isolation. That can be freeing and sharing the load can make everything more manageable.”

You can read the full article HERE.

Leave a Reply

scroll to top