Tagged: Stalker in the building
18/02/2019 at 10:00 am #35854
I moved into my apartment block 2 years ago and for the whole of that period I have been stalked by another resident. This man knows when I have arrived home and thus whenever I am parking my car, he always comes down to the garage and hangs around without any purpose and this is on a daily basis.
He also often hangs around outside my apartment pretending to be watering plants or doing gardening, when we already have a gardener and he is not on the body corporate. I am elevated ground floor and have had to put all kinds of screening up on my balcony to protect my privacy because prior to doing so I would find him standing outside my balcony looking in.
If he hasn’t come down to the garage when I’ve arrived home, I find him outside my apartment in the evening pretending to be going to the garbage or for a walk. This is on a constant basis. I have taken many videos of him but because he has never threatened me so I don’t know if the police can do anything.
I have my apartment on the market, I will not live like this and would appreciate any assistance anyone can make.
18/02/2019 at 3:51 pm #35858
- This topic was modified 3 months ago by Jimmy-T.
It’s good you have your apartment on the market. I can relate to your problem. My family and I had something similar but much worse happen to us in our apartment block.
If you are able to move, that’s best. Meanwhile, get a couple of WyzeCam 2 small and ridiculously cheap (and fun) CCTV cameras (only 20 bucks in USA, sadly about 100 here online). Easily researched. They are excellent! Have one trained from your windows looking out if that makes sense. We do that and we also have one at out front door; no OC permission but our neighbours who benefit from them are happy enough, what with parcel and food deliveries and tradies coming and going.
It’s good you have videos, keep at it; get used to walking round with your phone video turned on so you can press ‘record’ instantly. If your apartment is for sale and your stalker knows, his behaviour may ramp up.
Get your computer and phone checked for incursions. This may sound over-doing it and it may be. Our psychopathic ‘harasser’ was in the tech field though, and hacked us easily, we discovered.
In short, again, it may sound alarmist but leave nothing to chance.
Do your neighbours know? If not tell them.
There is a lot on government and police web sites about this sort of intimidating behaviour, if you haven’t seen it already.
You’re right, the police may not be able to do anything but if you edit a few clips together and take them to your local Police Station, jump up and down, be very polite but make a bit of fuss and have a copper watch the video, they may undertake to pay the stalker a visit. Certainly DO ask them for a numbered Incident Report as a record of your visit.
Finally, a solicitor may write a letter to this stalker for you putting your fears and feelings in writing.
18/02/2019 at 4:00 pm #35857
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Fey Knows.
I have the same experience in my building. A male resident constantly has me under surveillance. He waits on the stairs when I come home, stands outside my front door looking in, just ‘happens’ to come along and be in the entrance to the building etc.
I reported it all to the police but to no avail as he hasn’t broken any laws. I was advised by my Solicitor to put up cameras to catch his behaviour on camera. He reported me to the police for peodophilia and I was ordered to remove the cameras by police. He even took me to court to try and have me prosecuted for pedophilia. I won, and the case was dismissed by a judge as utter nonsense.
This guy happens to be a non practicing lawyer and knows how to manipulate the system.
It seems that when your a victim, you are just that, until you end up mamed or dead.
Authorities don’t help, you either have to put up with it or move.
Cause if you retaliate you then become the criminal.18/02/2019 at 5:46 pm #35864
First, have you told neighbours? You really should. It might be hard but you need to.
It’s my experience, see my post above, if you go to the police with a few bits of film showing the behaviour (you are allowed to film but not record sound without permission) make the police watch it, insist on leaving with an Incident Report Number, they may talk to this person forcefully.
If you can’t get them to do anything, ask to speak to the Community Relations Office (in NSW at least every police station is supposed to have one) and tell them you really need help.
If they are still reluctant, tell them you are going to complain via a Complaints Form (P964 I think, look it up anyway) and identify by name all of the police who haven’t helped you. A copper told me NO COPPER LIKES TO HAVE A COMPLAINT MADE AGAINST THEM.18/02/2019 at 8:50 pm #35865
Thank you so much Fey and Genna, I really appreciate your help.18/02/2019 at 10:01 pm #35868
That’s a big problem.
It’s unfortunate that there’s nothing you can do about nutters until they commit a crime and then, as we sadly read about almost daily, it’s much too late.18/02/2019 at 11:05 pm #35872
I’d think you (or a friend/relative/local hitman) should address this directly with the person if you feel safe to do so, be firm and tell him it is not on, and what you want him to now do/not do and that the police will be advised without notice to him should it ever happen again.
I’d also advise the OC of the situation in writing and ask how they can help you (or if you can, tell them what you require them by law to do – as a minimum it is likely breaking a by-law).
Having others aware of the situation will allow others to look out for you and may bring out others who have a similar situation, or can further enlighten you as to the person’s motives – he might be a known creep or a misguided mentally disabled person – who knows for sure?
I’d also document the goings on so you can as appropriate take it to the police.
All up, it seems a sad imposition if you are forced to move by the actions of another tenant so see if it’s possible to fix it great, if not, you might be right in moving. All the best, C.19/02/2019 at 2:04 am #35875
The friendly hitman or tough relative strategy could backfire badly. The advice above to tell the police and not leave the police station until a statement has been taken is the best course of action. Get it on record with them, then your committee, then anyone else who may be able to help. This person clearly has something wrong with them. That is not a good basis for issuing threats.19/02/2019 at 2:12 am #35876
I knew this reminded me of something. Bit of a horror story but at least the guy was jailed for 18 years:19/02/2019 at 10:19 am #35881
Don’t issue threats but like most things you should start with the basics if you can, many folks don’t want to go to police as it’s a hassle, fear it may really escalate things, and they don’t want to have their name on any public record. I always think in order to ‘make my problem go away’ you should try the ATM method a security guard told me he uses: Ask them, Tell them, Make them, using whatever is appropriate, lawful and will lead to getting the problem resolved.19/02/2019 at 12:29 pm #35882
There is some very worthwhile advice here.
I would like to reiterate that the police will be reluctant to listen, reluctant to write anything much down, and say they can’t do help much. Make sure to write down the name of the police person you speak to and it must be a police person , not the desk person who is often a volunteer, not a copper. And you must leave with an ‘incident number’. As I said, if you jump up and down politely and are upset enough, they may offer to contact the harasser.
Also, remember the threat of a complaint that they wouldn’t help you often works.19/02/2019 at 8:28 pm #35887
That horror story you relate above Jimmy is what you want to avoid by not immediately going to the cops if you or your OC can address it internally first I guess is what I’m saying. …Man, America sure has some, don;t they?20/02/2019 at 10:18 am #35927
There is some good and poor advice in this thread so far.
Let me begin the following by saying I don’t disbelieve what you are saying at all and don’t want any of the below to put you offside at all. I have been involved in a number of similar incidents, all with different causes and solutions.
First, You should be making a record of all instances you are referring to. Each time he is in the car park when you are and a brief note about what he’s doing. Each time he’s in the garden and what he’s doing (and whether or not he does it anywhere else other than outside your unit). A comprehensive record will always assist you in these sorts of situations with other agencies.
Have you approached this person at all about their behaviour? A solution could be as simple as a confrontation. The person may not be aware of how overt their behaviour is and being called out on it could help reduce it significantly. It is a step you will be asked if you have already tried in a lot of the follow up process available to you.
Try breaking up your routine a little. If your work allows for earlier/later starts and finishes try that for a little while.
Depending on the layout of your complex, you could try find a single unit carpark on another level that’s normally vacant and approach the unit occupant about borrowing it for a while. Most people would be sympathetic to your plight.
You should look at security cameras. Most manufacturers have wireless units which you’ll have no issues using. I don’t know what the circumstance of the Pedophile situation above was but there is no crime in having a camera in your unit facing out to your balcony and the street.
In respect to personal security. There is a new app on Iphones called ‘Shortcuts’ and specifically on shortcuts there is a function that allows for automated turning on of the phone camera. Developed primarily for US traffic stops, the function allows for you to handsfree turn on your phone and send a copy of the recording to a third party. It is an excellent personal security feature. More info here https://www.businessinsider.com.au/ios-12-shortcut-uses-iphone-to-record-police-during-traffic-stop-2018-10?r=US&IR=T
In relation to the police. As you have surmised, the police will be reluctant to do anything because nothing done so far is a crime. Old mate weirdo is allowed to do everything and be everywhere you have described and until he oversteps, will continue to be able to do so.
I would recommend you go and speak with them though. A good time to attend generally is mid morning and mid evening (8 to 10 am and pm). Go to your local station. Speak with and officer there and let them know what is occurring. They will likely advise at first instance to do the above and are entirely unlikely to make any sort of record of the interaction. Grab their contact info though and when the problem persists, get in touch again with the same officer and make a time to see them. Unfortunately there isn’t exactly a standard course of action here so I couldn’t advise as to what they might do going forward. If you have already confronted them, they might be far more likely to attend and have a conversation with the person as well.
Threatening/implying/inferring complaints is entirely unlikely to result in positive action on your behalf and isn’t something I would recommend at a time when the described situation doesn’t require police to act for you. Police get in trouble for not investigating crimes. As outlined above, There does not appear to be a crime committed. So complaining is likely to result in your name being mud at your local station and the officer complained about not having anything happen because, they weren’t required to do anything.20/02/2019 at 6:06 pm #35934
I acknowledge your air of authority, Redcali and I don’t want to digress too much, but here goes.
There’s supposed to be a designated Community Liaison Officer in every police station in NSW but in practice that means the big, main stations not the minor ones. (For example, there is one at North Sydney and one at Chatswood but not at little old Mosman.)
My experience is these officers can be very understanding, caring and helpful if you can’t get help at the front desk.
A highly experienced, decorated Police Inspector told me how to get coppers to help you. Be unfailingly polite, but don’t be afraid to put your point across forcefully. Write down their name, make them take out their notebook and write stuff down. Insist on an Incident Report Number which, in my experience, they write on a little card. The Police Inspector said NO copper likes being the subject of a complaint so if you have to threaten that as a last resort, you’ll probably get their attention.
By the way, JimmT’s linked story is uncomfortably similar to our experience. A psychopath is a psychopath whether they’re in the USA or Australia.
20/02/2019 at 7:28 pm #35944
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Fey Knows.
Just be aware that any unsubstantiated accusations to the police could rebound on you. You need really strong evidence in terms of photos, videos, statements from neighbours, etc. Otherwise you might be seen as paranoid (in the mental health sense) at worst or a nuisance at least. Sounds scary, and it is. Good luck!