Party plan

QUESTION:  My apartment has good views of the fireworks so my friends have decided I’ll be having parties at Christmas and New Year.  I get on OK with my neighbours but they can be a bit sniffy about noise. How can I have a good time without getting evicted?

ANSWER: Firstly let your neighbours know you will be having a party (you could even invite them).

Put a notice over the toilet (where the blokes can see it) asking them to obey a few simple, sensible rules.

One of these is to not chuck cigarette butts, beer bottles or each other off your balcony on to the neighbours below (this is such a Bogan thing to do you don’t even want them in your home).

Ask people to leave as quickly and quietly as possible in the early hours of the morning and not stand in the lobby yelling at each other as they wait for the lift.

And turn the bass down on your stereo – it’s the ‘doof-doof’ that travels through the building and has your neighbours lying awake plotting revenge.

Follow those rules and you and your neighbours can all have a merry Christmas.

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